Wednesday, June 30, 2004

it's only fittin

I think it's WEIRD after you poop when you wipe and there's nothing on the toilet paper. What happened? Did the a-hole finally perfect the ousting of the toilet paper industry, by simply clamping at the perfect moment creating not a smidgen of leftovers? Is the poop in the toilet, the side effects (sweat, feelings of lightness) an illusion? Did the little guys in the toilet lick me clean? What did I eat? Was it a self-cleaning food? What would a self-cleaning food be? Apples. Apple Martin. I bet broccoli and pears are self-cleaning foods too. Mostly fruit, and some veggies, but NOT asparagus. But I bet the best self-cleaning food is water. Well, that’s not really a food, is it? Did you know you could OD on water? You can. You’d have to drink an obscene amount, but still. Water can kill. You should only drink 8-12 oz, unless you are involved in some sort of activity (in which case, you should only add one glass per hour of activity). See, you learn something new everyday. And if you already knew that then I bet you didn’t know I think about poop as a leftover.

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